Thankful for the Tough Lessons: A Gratitude Practice for Growth
Two years ago, I shared a blog post titled, One Surprising Way to Create More Joy. I wrote it during a time when so many things were pressing heavily on the hearts and minds of moms, mine included. Even as a life coach, someone who spends much of her time helping others, I found myself searching for a way to feel anchored—to ground myself in the present moment, in the midst of all that was still good in my life. I needed to shift the weight, if only for a moment, away from the burdens and back toward the light.
And here we are, two years later. Many of us find ourselves feeling even more overwhelmed by the state of the world, the weight of our personal struggles, and the worries that keep us awake at night. But here I am, still reaching for the same practice, one that’s become a lifeline for me: gratitude. It’s a practice that never fails to pull me back, even when the world feels like it’s spinning out of control.
Gratitude is not just a quick fix or a feel-good buzzword; it’s a profound practice that ripples into nearly every corner of our lives. According to Mindful.org, gratitude does so much more than simply lift our spirits. It can boost our resilience, strengthen our immune system, and even improve heart health. It calms our nervous system—a gift we all need, especially in times like these. And I think that’s the part that strikes me most—the way gratitude can settle the heart and mind when everything else feels chaotic.
I’ve made gratitude a daily practice. It’s woven into my life as naturally as breathing, and yet, if I’m being honest, it can sometimes feel routine. I still feel deeply grateful for the small things, like a hot cup of coffee in the quiet of the morning, or the way my child laughs. But this Thanksgiving, I felt a pull to take it deeper, to shake things up a little.
Inspired by my 2022 gratitude exercise, I decided to push myself beyond the easy things, the visible things, the external things. This time, I wanted to focus on something harder—to find gratitude not just for the obvious blessings but for the difficult moments, both past and present, and how they’ve shaped me.
Why Be Grateful for the Hard Stuff
In the thick of a stressful season, it’s so easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. It’s like standing in the middle of a storm. Sometimes, it’s just a drizzle, a nuisance that makes things foggy and uncomfortable. Other times, it feels more like a raging storm, with thunder crashing down and lightning striking close. When you’re in the middle of that storm, it’s hard to remember that it’s temporary, that it will pass. And even harder to remember that just beyond those clouds, the sky is still blue and the sun is still shining.
But here’s the thing: after the storm, when the skies clear and the calm returns, we sometimes look back and see things differently. Maybe we realize the rain brought relief during a dry season. Maybe the storm forced us to slow down, to find shelter and reflect. And maybe, just maybe, we see a rainbow—something beautiful that never would have appeared without the storm in the first place.
We all know that hindsight is 20/20. But what if we could access that clarity in the moment, even when the storm is raging around us? What if we could find gratitude while we’re still in the middle of the hard stuff, rather than waiting until it’s over? That’s what I’m challenging myself to do.
So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’m sharing a list of 10 hard things—challenges both past and present—for which I’ve chosen to be grateful. Because sometimes, the most profound growth comes from the moments that stretch us the most.
10 Hard Things I’m Grateful For
Leaving the comfort of an easy job in my early 20s, and navigating a hostile work environment as a result. The hard I endured helped me learn that not everyone wants us to succeed and opened my eyes to the professional world.
Living paycheck-to-paycheck. So many years of scraping by helped me fight for better for myself.
Relationship tension. Regardless of whether the tension was with a close friend, family member, or with an acquaintance or stranger, every single situation has helped reveal my own values, beliefs, fears, projections, and more.
My aches and pains. They allow me to interpret signals in my body that need attention or care.
Fifteen years (on/off) of debilitating dizziness, loopiness, and vertigo. I was far from grateful at the time of that storm. The pain literally and consistently brought me to my knees. It cost me thousands of dollars in medical tests and treatments, not to mention prevented me from living a full, productive, and joyful life. But in retrospect, I wouldn’t change a thing. That journey taught me how to trust myself, advocate for my needs, and to listen to my body rather than try to silence it.
My food/sugar addiction. Navigating this challenge helped me connect with my younger self and show her love, grace, and understanding that she so deeply deserved. And my present self is learning discipline and the power of tiny steps.
Losing my temper with my daughter. Ugh. I wish I could say this was a one-and-done scenario, but I sadly have lost my temper too many times to count. And while I will never be happy about yelling at my kid, I am grateful for being humbled by my own humanness, and for healing/growing myself to be the woman and mom I am today.
Deciding to feel a financial pinch (or punch) to honor my mental health. I’ve taken pay cuts and also invested money that felt scary at the time for the sake of my wellbeing and for that of my family. And while there were/are sacrifices that had to be made because of these decisions, I’m grateful for the opportunities to listen to my intuition and to align with my future instead of settling for my present.
Entrepreneurship. Running a business is not for the faint of heart. Much like becoming a parent, starting a business is like birthing a baby into the world. I’m grateful for all that entrepreneurship has taught me, especially courage, love, commitment, and most of all, humility.
Recurring uncertainty. Through a high-risk pregnancy, an autoimmune condition, multi-year medical situations (yes, more than one), and the uncertainty that comes from typical life changes I can’t control, I’ve learned a thing or two about stress. I’m grateful to have learned that stress is normal, useful even, and that it is necessary to develop resiliency. And I’m also grateful to have learned how I exponentially contribute to my own stress and that I’m equally capable of reducing it.
Gratitude for the hard things isn’t always easy to access, but it’s one of the most powerful practices we can cultivate. It’s in those moments—the ones that challenge, stretch, and sometimes break us—that we discover our true capacity for growth. The storms of life may be inevitable, but how we weather them is a choice. By choosing to reflect on the lessons hidden within the struggle, we transform pain into wisdom, fear into strength, and discomfort into resilience.
This Thanksgiving, I encourage you to join me in looking beyond the obvious blessings and to find gratitude for the challenges that have shaped you. Because it’s often through the hard stuff that we uncover the parts of ourselves we didn’t know we were capable of becoming.
May we all learn to embrace the storms, knowing that there is always a blue sky waiting behind the clouds.
