As mothers, we often get caught in the whirlwind of life. We push forward, juggling kids, work, relationships, and our own aspirations, barely pausing long enough to take a breath, let alone reflect. But without taking time to reflect, it’s easy to let an entire year slip by unnoticed, with all the small victories and hard-earned lessons getting lost in the shuffle.

2024 was one of those years for me—filled with milestones, both big and small, yet it would have been easy to miss their significance had I not made time to reflect. I used to be like many moms, always in “go-mode,” tackling the next task, planning the next event, or focusing on the next goal. So when the end of each year came, I did the surface-level review of all the highlights—you know, the vacation, big projects, accomplishments, and, of course, the kids’ milestones. And then I’d immediately move onto the goals and plans for the new year.

But I’ve learned that approach didn’t serve me well. I just ended up with more of the same. The same unattained goals, while complaining about being a badass “chaos coordinator.” For me, year-end reflection has become a deeper dive. I typically spend about five hours digging into micro details in order to get a good feel for how the year unfolded and what part it played in my overall evolution before even looking ahead toward the new year. I choose to look at the good, bad, and ugly to help me benefit from it all to make the next year even better.

Why Reflection Matters

Reflection isn’t just about reminiscing on the past; it’s a vital part of our growth as individuals and mothers. According to Amy Morin, reflection helps us recognize patterns in our thoughts and behaviors and allows us to course-correct when necessary. When we take the time to pause and reflect on the year as a whole, we gain perspective on our efforts, struggles, and achievements—giving us the clarity to move forward with more purpose. When we fail to pause and reflect, we lose out on a crucial opportunity to learn from our experiences and shape our future with intention.

Three Ways to Reflect on Your Year

If you’re like me and need a framework to get started, here are three methods I used to reflect on 2024. These strategies not only helped me process the year’s events but also gave me insight into how to move forward more intentionally in 2025.

1. Review Photos and Social Media Posts by Month

One of the best ways to dive into your year is by looking through your photos and social media posts. The micro details in these snapshots help you form a clearer picture of the larger story of who you are and what you want more of in this life.

For example, when I went back through my photos, I relived moments I couldn’t forget, like travel to Montreal, NYC, and the Bahamas; watching my daughter’s first official fashion show, and seeing the Northern Lights from my very own backyard in Virginia—not once, but twice! But reviewing the photos also helped me recall the everyday magic and interests I had, whether it be the joy of seeing wildlife in my backyard, capturing stunning storms or sunsets, or the ridiculous amount of screenshots of various recipes I want to make and products that I might want to buy. Each image tells a story of a moment in time, and tells an even bigger story when I look at them as a whole.

2. Use Your Goal(s) as a Lens

Another powerful tool is to reflect through the lens of goals you set for the year. Whether you create a “word of the year” (like me), a theme, or goals/resolutions at the onset of the year, using that as a benchmark to measure your year can be incredibly enlightening.

My word of the year (WOTY) for 2024 was connection. I wanted to connect more with myself, my family, my clients, and life itself. I wanted to be more present, engaged, and mindful in every part of my life. When I reflected on whether I stayed aligned with that intention, I’m proud to see how much deeper my connections became. I strengthened my bond with my daughter as I supported her through her fashion endeavors and watched her tackle new challenges. I facilitated a local support group for moms, which allowed me to connect with my community in a more meaningful way. And I built deeper relationships with my clients, helping them grow while also growing alongside them. This focus on connection was a key thread running through everything I did, making the year feel even more purposeful and rewarding.

3. Use Regrets as Fuel

Lastly, don’t shy away from acknowledging the things you didn’t get to or the things that went sideways. We all have moments where life took us in unexpected directions, or we wish we’d have made a different decision. But missed opportunities and regrets don’t have to linger as unfinished business or experiences that will forever haunt us. We can give ourselves grace for what transpired and use those experiences as fuel for the new year.

For instance, I intended to release season 2 of my podcast, Selfish Mama Matters. But, I didn’t get to it. I took on a lot more coaching work, including pro bono initiatives, and I kept putting the podcast on the back burner. I’m not looking at it as a failure. Instead, I’m using it as motivation to ensure I prioritize it in 2025. The same goes for the books I didn’t read and events I didn’t hold. Sometimes things we prioritize fall off our radar because they truly weren’t as important as other things that surfaced. But if there’s a sense of loss or regret around things that didn’t make it into your reality by the end of the year, it’s a key indicator that it may still be important enough to prioritize in the coming year.

Selfish Reflection

In 2024, I experienced moments that stretched me as both a mom and an individual. Some of the most meaningful highlights include:

1. Watching my daughter’s growth as she stepped outside her comfort zone—designing clothes, participating in a fashion show, and conquering her fear of roller coasters.

2. Facilitating a local support group for moms, which has allowed me to deepen my connection with my community.

3. Taking time to travel and enjoy my family, including an extended family cruise to the Bahamas and having the grandkids stay with us for a couple of weeks over the summer.

4. Losing 20 pounds as part of a larger commitment to my health and wellness.

5. Managing my mindset and trusting that everything would work out when faced with uncertainties. (Trusting the process doesn't mean being passive, but it does mean letting go of the need to control every outcome. That can be especially difficult for us moms, where we often feel responsible for everything and everyone around us.)

These highlights helped shape my year and gave me a sense of gratitude for both the struggles and the joys that 2024 brought my way.

As we close the year, I encourage you to take time to reflect. Whether you use photos, themes, or goals as your guide, you’ll find clarity in the process. And if you need a tool to help you do a deep dive like I did, consider my 2024/2025 Reflections and Planning Journal, which offers prompts and insights designed to help you look back with intention and plan ahead with purpose. And if you desire some support in your journey, I’d be honored to discuss how coaching could help.