Fear vs. Growth: Lessons from a Rollercoaster Ride

How often do you let fear hold you back?

My family went to Knoebels Amusement Resort in Pennsylvania over the summer. I'm a rollercoaster enthusiast and have been on many over my lifetime. So when anyone asks me to ride any coaster, they know I'm game.

My daughter has had a long standing fear of rollercoasters and had only been on one "real" rollercoaster before. (By "real," I mean of any significant size.) To this day she says she never would have went on it had she realized how big it was. But on this day, at this amusement park, she felt the pull to try again, this time intentionally facing her fear head on.

Facing Fear: A Rollercoaster Challenge

My daughter is incredibly self-aware (hello...I am a life coach after all). She wrestled with her emotions, for no less than an hour, about riding the Impulse. According to the Knoebels website, the Impulse includes:
🎢 a vertical lift hill
🎢 four upside-down twists
🎢 a 90-degree free fall
🎢 a cobra roll and
🎢 a zero g roll

When she asked if I thought she could handle the coaster, I had to be honest. I told her she could handle anything she put her mind to but added that the Impulse was intense. Naturally, she asked me to explain what “intense” meant. (See list of attributes above.)

Indecision: The Battle Between Fear and Growth

For what felt like an eternity (though it was only about an hour), my daughter pondered, questioned, and verbally debated with herself and me about whether or not to ride the Impulse. She admitted she was terrified but confessed she was also tired of letting fear hold her back. She found both the fear and the indecision utterly exhausting. But more than anything, she didn’t want to regret not trying it and then waiting another summer to face her fear.

I knew this wasn’t just about riding a rollercoaster—it was a pivotal life decision that would redefine WHO she was and how she navigates the world.

Taking Small Steps to Overcome Fear

Together, we took tiny steps to help her make a decision:
🎢 I invited her to sit in the chair Knoebels has outside the gates, so she could get a feel for it.
🎢 I encouraged her to walk with me in the line so that she could continue to ask questions while watching the ride up close, even noticing the reactions of the other riders.
🎢 I repeatedly reassured her that if at any point she decided to bail, we'd bail. No judgement. No disappointment.
🎢 And I also told her how every step was one more mark of success, regardless of whether she rode on the coaster or not.

I'm thrilled to share that my daughter went through with the ride and loved it! (I think she's my new coaster buddy!) We worked as a team to help her conquer a fear that she felt had limited her for far too long. And she thanked me, profusely. And then she told me what a great mom (and coach) I was.

Selfish Reflections

As I reflect back on this, I remember the internal struggles I also navigated while trying to support my daughter through this decision. For one, my daughter’s interest surfaced only as our family planned to depart the amusement park. As all mamas know, patience runs thin on empty stomachs and after a long day in the sun. While I wanted to help my daughter make a decision, part of me wanted it to happen quickly. Once I sensed my own impatience and that I feared from the family, I took a deep breath, released it and trusted that the family had her back. And I also realized the additional strain it was putting on my daughter—not only was she navigating fear, but she was also feeling guilt of holding the family up.

Second, her fear ran deep, as did her interest to overcome it. We stood just outside the rollercoaster entrance discussing the potential of her riding it with minimal success. After a while, I started to doubt my ability to get her to make a decision. Upon realizing my own doubt, I doubled down on confidence. Our thoughts carry energy—and I knew doubt wasn’t going to help me identify solutions. So shifting my compass back to confidence was essential.

Lastly, I had to keep reminding myself that my daughter just needed to make a decision and that no matter what, it would be the right one. Whether she rode or not, she had to know that even pondering the thought of tackling this fear was courageous. She also had to believe that I had no interest in the outcome other than to support her making the best decision for her.

Being a mom is hard work. We’re often navigating our own struggles while simultaneously helping our kids navigate theirs. This was definitely such a time for me.

If fear is holding you or your child back, huge leaps aren’t always the answer. Oftentimes it’s small, seemingly insignificant actions that can make an impact. Just remember that any progress is progress. No matter what, we must MOVE.