How to Weather the Storms of Motivation
Jan 1 is a fresh start that so many of us look forward to as a catalyst for significant change.
And motivation is easy to find.
It’s in the air. It’s contagious. It’s palpable.
HOW I USED TO APPROACH THE NEW YEAR
I used to adopt the whole, “New Year, New Me” attitude around this time of year. I’d set all kinds of resolutions for things I’d accomplish, like eating healthier and losing weight, decluttering my home, and being more of the mom I wanted to be. But after just a few weeks (maybe a couple of months if I was lucky), I’d sense my motivation fading away.
“I used to think that a loss of motivation meant I’d done something wrong, but in fact, it’s just what happens to us humans, especially moms who have a lot on their plate.”
Made sense…I’d work really hard with little to no payoff. I wouldn’t lose the weight I’d expected given my level of sacrifice and restriction. I was exhausted by the time I got home from work and just couldn’t seem to find the time to consistently clean out and organize my home. And trying to be the mom who never yelled, was always delighted to see her kid, and enjoyed playing pretend just never stuck.
Not only did my motivation slowly deplete, but motivation no longer lingered in the air, able to be freely leveraged or borrowed from others as it did in the weeks prior.
Instead, the dashed hopes, depleted energy, and lingering disappointment of so many others was what was on tap.
It was in the air. It was contagious. It was palpable.
Credit: https://unsplash.com/ja/@volkanolmez
WHAT I CHANGED
About seven to ten years ago, I decided to forego resolutions. Seemed like a smart move to me. I mean, after consistently failing at creating a new me in each new year, why would I set myself for more failure and disappointment? After all, my past accomplishments were indicative of my future results, were they not? (Clearly, I didn’t know about self-fulfilling prophecies back then.) 🤦♀️
I floundered a bit with yearly goals for a while, but kept coming back to the need for clarity and wanting to better myself.
I became a life coach in 2016 and heard about the notion around creating a the “Word of the Year” and was immediately smitten. A WOTY seemed like a perfect way to enter 2017 to really embody the characteristics I had learned and practiced in my life coaching program.
To my surprise, a WOTY did, in fact, stick and I’ve used one consistently ever since. Here’s a look back on my WOTYs.
2017 - Awareness
I gained awareness of my thoughts, my patterns, my energy, and my dreams in 2016 and I didn’t want to lose it. So I chose “Awareness” as my word in 2017 to continue practicing conscious awareness in my life and parenting. That then ultimately led me to blog every single day in 2017. My awareness grew exponentially that year.
2018 - Intention
The next step of my self-growth journey past awareness was to be incredibly intentional. Intentional in my career, my life, my parenting, my everything. I wanted it to be a constant reminder of how much power I had to shape my experiences simply by choosing how I showed up in each moment, not just for myself, but for others. (Can I just say, Awareness + Intention = GAME CHANGER!)
2019 - Opportunity (with a focus of finding/creating them in challenges)
This was a big year for me. I sought to see opportunity in everything, even in challenges. I was presented many challenges and with each one I practiced finding or creating an opportunity from it. One significant challenge presented itself that summer and it changed the course of my career and my life. It came with its own layers of pain and struggle, but nonetheless, the challenge was truly a gift and I am so proud of how I handled that catalyst moment. Without it, I wouldn’t be where I am today, both entrepreneurially and spiritually.
2020 - Trust
In 2020, I didn’t want to just find the opportunity within a challenge. Rather, I wanted to trust that the challenge was aligned and ultimately presented for my benefit. It was shifting from a make-lemonade-out-of-lemons mindset to an of-course-this-is-happening-for-me mindset. It was letting go of doubt and resistance and, instead, trusting that all experiences benefit me and my life’s journey. (Tricky year given the pandemic, but I continued to trust.)
2021 - Alignment
My intention for 2021 was to be in alignment with my soul. I feel a lot of discontent arises when I’m out of alignment and not listening to my soul’s callings. This was a big year for me to practice listening to myself…to decipher intuition from fear so that I could co-create my life with my highest self. (This year didn’t go as I thought it would, but through it all, I practiced hard to take action from a place of alignment vs my “personal preference.”)
2022 - Discipline
I often pick a WOTY based upon how a word intuitively feels for me and the need to grow my capability in a given area. And 2022 was definitely a year I wanted to cultivate more discipline across all areas of life: finances, health, organization, mental focus, and more. I wouldn’t say I’d get an A+ for discipline across all areas. If I were being honest, I’d have to give myself a C+ for my overall results, but a B+ for effort. I worked so hard to be more disciplined and learned so much about myself and what kind of support I might need moving forward that I didn’t have before. Discipline is one of those attributes that I think I’ll always seek to improve upon.
So, will I use a WOTY for 2023?
Um…
Credit: https://unsplash.com/@postebymach
Yes, yes I will. (I’m still settling in on my word choice, though…stay tuned.)
For the past six years, a WOTY has tethered me to my intentions for the year, it anchored me to the changes I wanted to make and served as a means of recommitment when I inevitably got off track or lost focus. (The word, “intentions” was another change I made in 2017. It feels more durable than “resolutions,” don’t you agree?)
Adopting a WOTY helped me whether the storms of motivation.
I used to think that a loss of motivation meant I’d done something wrong, but in fact, it’s just what happens to us humans, especially moms who have a lot on their plate. #everymother We get sucked into the daily grind of care and work and managing and consoling and correcting and cleaning and planning and reacting and…you know how this goes.
All this love and living and becoming often feels like me just keeping my head above water. It’s my sole focus…my necessity. Motivation to create change easily morphs into motivation to simply exist. And obviously, any ideals I’ve set for myself or for my life take a backseat when basic survival is all I can muster.
But when motivation swings toward my ideal self and my ideal life again (which it always does), I come back to my WOTY for grounding, for centering, for the gentle reminder that the growth and change I seek is available when I am.
A WOTY was also what I needed to reject the “New Year, New Me” attitude and instead adopt a “New Day, New Way” approach to every new year. The end of each day offers us all the opportunity to begin anew, whether it’s the start of a new year or not, and especially when motivation isn’t in the air, contagious, or palpable.
